I've been really busy lately.  Not with school work, nor with a job.  I've been busy playing with more blocks.  Yes, Minecraft has completely taken over my life.  Now I don't normally post Minecraft videos, since there's like, 7 billion of them on youtube anyways.  However, this one make me laugh in a sort of portal/300 sort of way.  You will understand why.

The Cake is a Lie, and yes, the arrows will block out the sun.  Let them eat cake in the shade.  I don't think I could fit anymore memes in here.  That's right, Marie Antoinette is now a meme.  Get over it.  I might upload a video of my minecraft world sometimes for a video blog.


Another game I would like to play (but would never be able to because it doesn't exist)  is "Crab Nicholson Extreme Sleepover Text Adventure."  His claws are sharp, but his heart is made of gold.  Or Cigarettes.  If only I lived near this game store so I could buy this one and only copy.

I hope he uses that money he got from the game to buy a new camera. But I think he probably paid more for the pack of cigarettes than they gave him for the game. Smokes are expensive, man.

Being a broken-up, green texted story makes it even better.

Whoa whoa whoa, fucked up story bro. Let’s try something a little bit different.

Screw punctuation.

I CAN HABEEBE IT!  I can believe that nobody on 4chan can tell a real story.  Or even format it in a way that looks like it would be acceptable to be put in any real or credible publication.  Or end it in some sensicle way.  Yes, sensicle is a real word.  Don't compare me to these other fools on 4chan.  I can write a real story.  Without breaking it up into small sentences.  Damn it.

Ok, so here we have "The Internets".

It's pretty much the biggest freaking thing on the planet. Bigger than whales, bigger than a big gulp (you know, the drink that could drown a small child), even bigger than Kanye West's ego. Ya, it's pretty big. The internet doesn't mess around. But as the saying goes, the bigger they are, the bigger the earthquake is when they fall. Or something like that.

Of corse people have to run this massive mass of porn, memes, retards, and the complete collection of human knowledge known as Wikipedia. Who are the true rulers you ask? Some people would say that anon, or even the race known as "trolls" control it, but they would be wrong [we just manage it]. Through much research (and by research, I mean looking at lots and lots of funny pictures of cats speaking really horrible English) I realized that the true rulers consisted of only 4 men:

Al Gore
Bill Gates
Christopher Poole
“The Encoder”

Why these four? Back in the year 2000, the internet was born in a blinding flash out of a small garage owned by one of these men, a man called "Gore." He knew he could not contain all of the power by himself, so he split it up with three of his closest buddies. Mr. Gates, the most well know of the four, was put in charge of the upkeep, and to gain money for this he was allowed to sell pieces of glitchy software for exorbitant prices, which he continues today, also under the alias of "Steve Jobs."

Sir Christopher Poole is probably better known by his moniker, Moot of 4chan.  He was of course put in charge of the darker side of the internet which would inevitably spring up, and by pure chance, grow to envelop almost all of the internet.  Later anon would come to his aid to futher back him up.

The last ruler, know only as "The Encoder" is very mysterious.  Very little is know about him.  Few even know of his existence, but there are clues out there, including one very interesting captcha.  We can only guess he makes the rules here, as shown by these. 

Each of these men have one of these, as I like to call it an "internet switch."
With this, they can control their individual sectors, but if they were ever to get together and activate all four of them simultaneously, well, we can only imagine what happens then.

Today, I told myself "Self, today is 4chan Friday, so I'm gonna be sure to write something extra funny."  But now that it's past midnight making it Saturday, I guess you'll have to deal with the regular B.S. I throw at you.  But I am doing /3/ and /rs/, so cheer up! 

No, /3/ isn't another chan.  After visiting 7chan, I don't think I could bear to leave the safety of my home.  /3/ actually stands for 3DCG.  Great, another acronym to further confuse me.  Although I think it does actually stand for 3d computer grapics.  Or 3 dudes cutting grass.  I'm not entirely sure though.  There are a lot of 3d looking pictures though.

You ever wonder how they get realistic looking models into video games and stuff?  They skin a person, and then lay it out flat, then take a picture of it.

This... really creeps me out.

Then you can wrap it around a human-head shaped 3d wireframe and create the model.  That or they just take a bunch of pictures from different angles and stitch them together.  That probably works better, in a much less manslaughter sort of way.

/rs/ stands for Rapidshares, aka the quickest way to spread viruses, porn, and pirated versions of software.  Unlike torrenting, you don't even have to download any other software to get it.  Which means only downloading from your browser, which pretty much sucks.  But then again, you will have less of a paper trail of sorts when downloading pronz and warez.  When the feds (or your mom) shows up at your door, you don't have to clear your uTorrent stats, you just have to delete the illegal shit and plead the 5th, whatever that is.

So I was trying to think up good stuff to add to a post for tonight, but as I wracked my brains the only thing that I could think about was something totally unrelated; Man Butt.  OK, it's a lot less gay than it sounds.

My friend and I like to play a lot of RPG's, and while we both like to try new things, there is one thing that he will rarely do: make a female character.  Sure, a female warrior with little skinny arms looks horribly fit to carry around a massive physics defying sword of evil-smashing, but spell casters in skimpy outfits more than make up for that.  Fighting in the snow wearing nothing but lingerie totally makes sense.

I totally like making female characters.  My take on it is that if you're going to be staring at a character's butt from a 3rd person view for hours at a time, it might as well be good looking.  Not some big fat man butt.  Yes, I'm sure you could use it to smash some unsuspecting enemy's head, but seeing it twitch and bulge with veins during the process would probably make me want to hit the delete button.

Mundo goes whe... whoa man, that's nasty.

Yes, I bet RPG time with your muscle-bound bros, complete with drooling contests and steroid injecting, is a great bonding experience, but will it get you as much money as dancing in town square with your armor off?  I didn't think so.  Now then, that will be two silver.

Making fun of people here is what I do. But Even I have standards. I try to not make fun of people with problems that may or may not make them easily to make fun of (unless their name is Kanye West). I just let other people do that for me.

Oh come on, why would you do that? It's obvious she had a stroke, or at least was hit with a poison dart like Jim Carey in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. Does the fact that I find this funny qualify me for getting into hell? And even if I'm not going to hell, this person probably is.


Like really, why wouldn't you answer your phone when someone is repeatedly trying to call you. Especially when you just happen to have the specific abilities to help the person. Women, seriously.

With any good thing, there is a point where there has to be filler.  And while this blog is pretty much 90% filler anyways, there are some times when even I don't have anything to write in this little box.  For that reason, there are wallpapers.  Without further adieu...

As seen in my Battlestations/Rainmeter Post

I promise that next week I'll get off Minecraft long enough to write a real post!

Let me tell you something sonny, it's a little something about a guy called an hero. An hero is a pretty cool guy, and he doesn't afraid of anything. You're gonna have to get off the internet and stop slappin' your meat to your girl cartoons if you ever wanna be like an hero.  One of these days, you wanna be able to have your head held high, saying "Not a single fuck was given this day, that day, or any other day." 

An hero, huh, what's so special about him?  That's what your probably saying.  No one will ever care about that guy.  So he changed the life of one person (and possibly sent them to a mental hospital), but who's gonna take notice of something as minuscule as that?

Ok, I guess that person probably didn't do anything that great.  In order to become an hero for the ages, you have to be an even cooler guy, who will be bound to leave behind an even cooler story, bro.  That's right, you have to the whole thing.  All of it. 

So you are able to get into a high profile party, no problem.  The birthday part of a celebrity.  Better.  You then proceed to take advantage of all the free shit that's being offered at the party?  Ok, that's just being a douche.

Whatever, they're rich anyway, they could care less.

See famous person's delicious, tempting cake at the end of the night,  one which is probably going to get thrown away, take it stealthily, bring it into your buddy's car, then wake up the next morning feeling proud (and a little bit hungover)?  You sir have just earned yourself an an hero badge.

I've been doing this 4chan Friday thing now for a couple months now, and it has come to my attention that not many people around here actually are familiar with 4chan.  Like, at all.  I know it's kind of late to explain it by now, but better late than never I guess. Some people call it hell on the internet, akin to getting raped to satin's penis, while others may say it is the best place ever. Some even call it home. I call it writing material, but that's probably just me.

4chan, in the most basic terms, is an image board.  More accurately, "the largest English imageboard on the web,"  at least according to them.  I wouldn't doubt it thought.  The idea behind an imageboard is that you are required to post a picture to open a post (OP), and then post pictures if you feel to reply.  Whether these pictures are relevant, irrelevant, or contain genitals is completely up to the poster.

This is what the main page looks like.  To the untrained eye, it looks innocent, but that would be horribly wrong for the most part.  What you see here is the list of boards, along with random stats and the three most recently added pictures.  The boards have two different ways to be identified; with the full name as seen above, or the more popular way, by the tags.  Most tags have the format of slash-letter-slash, which is how they are displayed in the index at the bottom of the boards, as well as in a URL (4chan.org/[letter]/).

The most well known board is /b/, or Random.  If you don't know what is in here already, you shouldn't go.  It will get explained when I do my 4chan Friday Finale.  Most other boards contain what they say (for the most part) but there are always people who want to cause shit and post stuff that violates the rules.

Yes there are rules.  Even on /b/ (sometimes).  Some of the boards are even considered work safe, identifiable by the blueish background.  Why people are browsing 4chan at work is beyond me, but if you can get away with it, all the more power to you.  Sometimes I feel like my job IS to browse 4chan, except that I don't get paid.  

As for the people, there are a lot of them.  It wouldn't be the biggest imageboard if it wasn't for them.  Some of them are nice, some of them are trolls, and some of them are there to just make you go "wtf".  And yes, the trolls there are much worse than me, and probably sneakier too.  But if you assume that everything is a troll, you should be safe.  With that, I better not say anymore for fear of getting ripped a new one by my fellow channers, especially after revealing their secrets.  They were never really that secret or special to begin with though.

Anyone who watches anime who doesn't speak Japanese has two different options: subtitles, or English voice dubs.

Personally, I'm a fast reader, and I can already speak Japanese fairly well, so I prefer subs. With dubs, you don't have to read, but a lot of people don't like them. For one thing, they seems so bland and dry. Translating things like "sou desu ka" from Japanese and putting it in a script for an English voice actor to read is repetitive, and doesn't even sound like anything you would normally say in English. In Japanese, however, it's a normal figure of speech.

Dubs are also less common, since it does take a full team of voice actors, editors, translators, writers, and various other people to take out the Japanese voices (while leaving the ambient sound) then translating the episode into a script with the same idea for people to act out.  Also, many dubs tend to dumb things down for an American audience.  A bad case of this is 4kids taking One Piece, an excellent anime (at least in my opinion), butchering everything including the story, censoring the hell out of it, and turning it into a horrible kid's cartoon.  Just listen to this incredibly corny sounding opening they made.

Why are is there random rapping? And an Australian sounding guy? Di oh di oh? Really?

Many subs are done by fansubbers, which is exactly how it sounds, people doing it just for the sake of fellow fans. An episode can be subbed for others to watch in just a few days, rather than months for an entire series. And no, there are no fandubs, unless you want to hear some 12 year old trying to act out 5 different parts on Youtube.  Subs aren't perfect though:

I think I'm getting the gist of what you're trying to tell me...

So, when's the dub coming out again?

There are some series with good dubs that I like, such as Ghost in the Shell (pictured above), FLCL, Eureka Seven, as well as voice actors such as Johnny Yong Bosch or Crispin Freeman, but Japanese seiyuu (voice actors) speaking the original audio is still my favorite.  I can even identify some of them in different roles just by their voice.

It's Valentines Day, which means the corporations get to suck us dry using their cards, chocolates, flowers, and whatever other frilly junk they tr to hock at us. But of course that isn't the true meaning of Valentines Day! It's to make all us single people feel like crap. I think the best way to sum it up is this:


I guess for all the romantics and optimists out there, I might as well post something for you guys too, in my own unique (nerdy) way. If it worked for my ex, it should work for you guys.

"I want you to realize beautiful you are." Ya, I'm a sucker for the mushy stuff.

I can distract you for more than 2 minutes from whatever you were doing.

Step 1: Click Here 

Step 2: Click through the links to try to find a working camera.

Step 3: ......................

Step 4:  Come back to this page whenever your're done playing with all of the functions.

Step 5:  Rage.

Step 6:  Carry On. 

Holy crap one of those cams totally has giraffes.  I wonder if the guy feeding them notices the movement of the camera...

I'z in your cameras, peeking at your surroundings.  It's almost like I'm in the Matrix!

I really hate ants. Normally I could care less, but right now they are currently calling my room their home.

I think the main problem is that I use my room as my dining room as well. Cleaning out my keyboard the other day to try to battle them, I'm pretty sure enough food came out to feed a small third world country. But my cleanliness is a topic for another time.

Ants may be small, but they are annoying in numbers. As I'm writitng this, I keep feeling itches all over my body, thinking that each one is an ant. I might be just paranoid, but they do climb on me from time to time. I've also noticed that the back of my leg has a surprising amount of freckles, and that some of them look surprisingly like ants. You can't flick them off that easily though.

I'm pretty sure everyone has heard the term "pissant" refering to some really small amount of something. I know it's just an idiom, but it really doesn't make any sense. Shouldn't it be ant-piss? That's probably way smaller. Do ants even piss? Of course could be wrong. It kind of reminds me of a thread I red somewhere on 4chan, where some guy apparently ejaculated ants.

Instead of rushing to the nearest hospital dragging along his half-flacid ant spewing device with him, he decided to go on the internet. Of course 4chan's plan was for him to be come a penis-ant-shooting-superhero, but I'm guessing the guy either went to seek medical help soon after or died from being eaten alive from the inside out by ants. I guess that's why you don't put a pixie stick inside of your urethra.

4chan Friday. Because any other day wouldn't create an alliteration. Besides, 4chan Wednesday would take to long to write.

Tonight, /e/ and /r/ lose whatever mysteriousness they had, because obviously they hold something other than what the title suggests (not).

I thought I would work on finishing off the "Adults Only" section, because I tend to get distracted while browsing them, case in point me posting this at 1am (it isn't even Friday anymore.) /e/ or Ecchi would be one of these.

Ecchi is the Japanese catch-all word for any pornographic, including perverts. Gee, I wonder what type of people go here [don't answer that]. This board is kind of like /h/, except with more of a soft core feel.  It's more of eye candy rather than sex, with some self-censoring.  It's similar to what I explained in my Fan-service post.  In most anime, any real money shots get covered up by random pieces of clothing, arms and legs, surprisingly murky water,  random items in the foreground flying through the air, or whatever the animators dream up.

Even tails.  And what a nice piece of tail it is...

/r/ is the request board.  What people are requesting on 4chan is beyond me, but I can probably guess whatever they get in return isn't what they wanted.  Unless you really were searching for some big hairy guy to come violate you.  But then again you might just be asking a simple question. 

Herp derp i wuznt paying attention when this show was on it was like some fighting and this blue guy nyone know the name of it?

Isn't this the kind of shit Google is for?  But since you can get banned for requesting on other boards, I guess  it can be useful.  There is even incentive for posting accurate information, and this is boobs.  You can even post them to open and to bump as well.  Don't let me stop you.

Here at the Troll Cave, I like to be well versed in the things that I talk about, such as Trolling, the internet, being random, and last but not least, anime. However, in a bad case of "the blind leading the blind," I bring you this.

If you can ignore all of the unrelated pictures leading to pop-up hell, the hugely over-sized header, and the random Youtube video embedded there, you will find yourself staring at what looks like an anime review, but is actually a mash of words that I really really hope is actually meant to be this bad.

The first problem is see here is someone who has probably never actually watched any of them trying to explain them to other people who have never watched them.  It's like whoever wrote this took the synopsis right from Wikipedia.  But I know that's not the case, because even Wiki doesn't have this bad of grammar.

"...Ichigo Kurosaki who accidentally powers of a Shinigami."

Accidentally what?   You accidentally the whole thing?  I know I the whole thing sometimes, but this is just crazy.  While we're at it, let's not forget how Narutards got here.

Naruto is a sequel to the popular anime series Naruto.

If I didn't know already, some of the questions I would probably be asking would include:
What's anime?  Where does it come from?  What's manga? Why would I want to watch this? 
Does the person writing all this even know the answers to these?  Are all the people who read this going to think that the big three shonen animes are the only things out there?  Everything is ruined.

I was trying to come up with something witty as usual to introduce my first video, but the only thing I could come up with is this: Successful troll is successful.

Also the title of the cafe is French for "Forever Alone." Just thought you should know that.

I wish I could walk like that guy. It would totally add to my Trolling rep. I once had a math teacher who wore socks with sandals. He didn't walk like that either. But I'm pretty sure he was a troll. Adults can get away with stuff like that. Stuff that would be considered childish if I did it (especially in public- read my previous post). Stuff like this.


I mean, if my mom walked in on me and my friends trying to guide cookies down into our mouths, I'm pretty sure she would tell us to go outside and stop smoking the crack. The internet made us do it, I swear!

Adding to the list of "reasons why I shouldn't be let out of the cave and into society", I bring you public trolling. Nothing really breaks the ice quite like the burning fires of rage you get from pissing somebody off.

Soup or Salad? Yes!

Embarrass your friends and family while at the same time getting stranger to leave you alone?   How do I do this?  Acting like you're a crazy person- running around shouting various obscenities while wearing no pants works- but if you want to piss off more then just the police, you're gonna have to set the bar even higher.  This ain't no flicking someone in the nose after making them look at some fake spot on their tie.


If you're like me, you can just suddenly ruin the atmosphere anywhere.  "Hey, it looks like you two are making out over here, want to hear about this nasty ingrown hair I had?"  "Your grandma died?  Ah man, that sucks.  Did she drop any good loot?"  Making judgments about people around you very loudly so that they can hear you work wonders too.  Sure, it seems kind of childish, but it also adds to the embarrassment factor, AND it makes everyone feel uncomfortable.  "Oh god, why is he saying that, doesn't he know people can hear him, I feel so bad."  You know that feeling.

Or you can just take the path of least resistance, and just do things that you know will piss people off.  A prime example? Mustard worshipers:  "Putting ketchup on a hod-dog should be a crime."  Well if you are one of these people, you should avert your eyes now.

The Troll-Dog

It's like taking a black man to a KKK meeting.  I'm guessing the response would be something between "Why would you do that?" and "Burn in hell."  Well then, mission accomplished.

I take pride in having pretty things (no boobs this time) to look at while I'm sitting around on my computer for hours at a time. That's why I save a lot of wallpapers. But that would just be boring. That's why Rainmeter is here.  It's basically the Windows gadgets on crack, with tons of variety, showing you basically whatever you want.  Before I get to that though, let's take a look at my setup.

I even cleaned up my desk for you guys.

Some of you already know about my dual screen set up.  My main monitor is 1600x900, nice and big, with built in speakers.  The left one is basically my old crappy CRT (1152x864) that used to be my main monitor, used for music, Skype, other random windows, as well as holding crap like my Pedo Bear paper craft on top.  Yes, it just barely fits up there in that dock where my printer should be (it's on top of the desk now).

Despite the size differences, I was able to line them up perfectly by propping up the LCD and taking the stand off the CTR.  Yes, that book is Harry Potter.  Other stuff on my desk; my headset being held together by duct tape, CD's that I never use in my CD rack, as well as my cellphone/wallet/keys.  My Keyboard and mouse are on a slide out underneath that, but they're pretty boring.

Moving onto my desktop. I use a combination of John's Background Switcher and the above mentioned Rainmeter to make everything pretty.  I currently have four set-ups that I use, each with a Rainmeter theme, and a set of pictures that cycle through two at a time.  The one above would be my Hatsune Miku theme.
It's my newest one (and current favorite) but I change them up every so often to keep things fresh.

My basic single screen theme is a catch all for most of my general wallpapers, which is a lot of them.

My pride and joy is my dual-screen collection, which takes a bit of tweaking to get right, but it creates a really cool final product.  The fourth is an Evangelion theme which I am currently working on.

My Rainmeter gadgets usually include a clock for time and date, a network meter, cpu and ram meter, and music so I don't have to minimize or open up stuff to change songs.  I like to keep my desktop nice and clean with few icons so I can appreciate the wallpapers better.  The only bad thing is that I found that I couldn't survive without the taskbar, but for the most part it's discreet.

Because the backgrounds are constantly changing, I like to have gadgets with high contrast, so I can always see them well. You might notice I have some redundant gadgets working at the same time on both screens, which is nice so I can always know what's going on no matter what I have up. 

You know what day it is.  You know!!!!  Don't look at me like that.  It's 4chan Friday.

Tonight, we have /y/ and /u/.

No, this has no connection to the creepy "y u no" guy.  It's actually about homosexuality.  Yes, they stand for Yuri and Yaoi.  If you don't speak Japanese, then you're probably better off.  Yuri and Yaoi stand for gay relationships in anime between women and men, respectively. 

Yaoi is a funny word, but after scrolling quickly through one page of penises, I quickly closed it.  I prefer Yuri, even though the word isn't as commonly used or nearly as funny sounding.  As I've said before, boobs usually rank higher on the interest scale than other things. 

Of course there is no shortage of boobs in anime.  It's common in animes to see many males (and some females)  get a nosebleed whenever they happen to see them as well, sometimes causing them to become "overdrawn at the blood bank."
I just gave blood today, so I'm familiar with donating, but Characters like Zoro from One Piece need to think about a withdrawal program, especially after losing five or six pints of blood in one fight, despite the human body only containing that much.  But as long as he has enough bandages, he should be fine.

I've recently noticed that my hipster transformation as promised in past posts isn't as easy as it seemed.

At the same time as trying to be a hipster, I'm going through college and trying to find a job.  Let me tell you this, not many employers want to hire (or even look at) someone dressed in bright colors, tight jeans, and with an unshaven look.  Not that any self respecting hipster would want a job in the mainstream that pays in cash rather than vinyl records, but then again most self respecting hipsters don't have mainstream needs that require money to fulfill.  I can't buy everything at a thrift store, after all. 

I actually don't have cable, which is sort of like not having TV, in a weird, static-y way.

This is why I've created an alter-ego.  I call him Spiffy McNifty.  Basically, take any outfit, then Bam! add a blazer on top of it.  Yes, my $7 blazer that I just so happened to buy at a thrift store.  It actually looks really nice, thus giving me the look of an upstanding, hard-working individual.  I can even keep my beard, if you can call it that.  It kind of looks like I glued pubes to my chin, but only if you get up close. (It's not my fault that it takes me a week to get a 5o'clock shadow. )   I just keep people away by telling them that I don't want their greasy fingers to mess up the blazer.

I'll probably shave one day when I actually get an interview.  Then I probably will end up having to give up my hipster days, short as they were.  Oh well, it was getting too mainstream for me anyways.