Explain This

Here at the Troll Cave, I like to be well versed in the things that I talk about, such as Trolling, the internet, being random, and last but not least, anime. However, in a bad case of "the blind leading the blind," I bring you this.

If you can ignore all of the unrelated pictures leading to pop-up hell, the hugely over-sized header, and the random Youtube video embedded there, you will find yourself staring at what looks like an anime review, but is actually a mash of words that I really really hope is actually meant to be this bad.

The first problem is see here is someone who has probably never actually watched any of them trying to explain them to other people who have never watched them.  It's like whoever wrote this took the synopsis right from Wikipedia.  But I know that's not the case, because even Wiki doesn't have this bad of grammar.

"...Ichigo Kurosaki who accidentally powers of a Shinigami."
Accidentally what?   You accidentally the whole thing?  I know I the whole thing sometimes, but this is just crazy.  While we're at it, let's not forget how Narutards got here.
Naruto is a sequel to the popular anime series Naruto.
So, what came first, the chicken or the... chicken? And why are there huge run-on sentences that go on forever and suddenly switch topic in the middle?  Why are there random periods breaking up what.  would have been. semi-coherent sentences?  (If you can call them that even.  It took me several tries to try to figure out what the blog description meant.)

If I didn't know already, some of the questions I would probably be asking would include:
What's anime?  Where does it come from?  What's manga? Why would I want to watch this? 
Does the person writing all this even know the answers to these?  Are all the people who read this going to think that the big three shonen animes are the only things out there?  Everything is ruined.

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