An Hero

Let me tell you something sonny, it's a little something about a guy called an hero. An hero is a pretty cool guy, and he doesn't afraid of anything. You're gonna have to get off the internet and stop slappin' your meat to your girl cartoons if you ever wanna be like an hero.  One of these days, you wanna be able to have your head held high, saying "Not a single fuck was given this day, that day, or any other day." 

An hero, huh, what's so special about him?  That's what your probably saying.  No one will ever care about that guy.  So he changed the life of one person (and possibly sent them to a mental hospital), but who's gonna take notice of something as minuscule as that?

Ok, I guess that person probably didn't do anything that great.  In order to become an hero for the ages, you have to be an even cooler guy, who will be bound to leave behind an even cooler story, bro.  That's right, you have to the whole thing.  All of it. 

So you are able to get into a high profile party, no problem.  The birthday part of a celebrity.  Better.  You then proceed to take advantage of all the free shit that's being offered at the party?  Ok, that's just being a douche.
Whatever, they're rich anyway, they could care less.
See famous person's delicious, tempting cake at the end of the night,  one which is probably going to get thrown away, take it stealthily, bring it into your buddy's car, then wake up the next morning feeling proud (and a little bit hungover)?  You sir have just earned yourself an an hero badge.

3 Response to "An Hero"

  1. Teutorix February 20, 2011 at 3:48 AM
    Petty theft Paul is the best meme ever, I heard the real guy is mad as hell.
  2. Punk1119 February 20, 2011 at 1:50 PM
    It's Scumbag Steve, get it right.
  3. Anonymouse February 20, 2011 at 8:49 PM
    i think it was petty theft paul before it became scumbag steve. does it really matter?

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