Bad Stuff Happens After 5 a.m.

So I'm currently recovering from an all night party, and since I'm not in my zombie mode at the moment, I think I will be able to make a legible post about it.

Pre- 2 am is when most people are still awake. You can make as much noise as you want, and you probably won't disturb anybody (outside of your neighbors who might be actually trying to sleep). If you go to sleep before two, you should probably call up your parents to take you before so.

2 am is when the real action gets started. You should probably turn off Rockband since this is the time when the lighweights start to go to sleep, and the chances of your neighbors calling the cops increases. Yes, I said Rockband. What, you assume I go to real parties?

2 am is also the perfect time for a Late Night Run, to pick up massive amounts of caffeine and sugar to carry you through the night.  Although I prefer Bawls and Monster instead of Mountain Dew.

Around 3am is when you choose whether or not to go the whole night.  This is when I usually go to bed when I'm alone on the weekends and stuff, but during a party it's only the beginning.  Except for the people who choose not to stay up.  They get colored on by sharpies and duct-taped to walls.

Four is when the gigglies start to set in.  You know, when any bodily noise or word over three syllables  becomes the most hilarious thing ever.  Lycopene.  After one person gets the gigglies, it starts a chain reaction until someone passes out, which restarts the whole cycle.  I would advise taking any caffeinated substances now.

The longest hour of the night is 5 am.  This is when the bad things happen.  Bad things such as passing around a jar of Mayonnaise to see who can take the biggest spoonful without hurling.

Yes, this is me and my group of friends at a party a while ago actually trying this. I'm the one in the far left. Ignore what I look like, it's 5am.

Depending on how many stimulants are in your system, somewhere in the 6 to 7 range is when you first start to feel sleep trying to take over. You will also probably stop making any sense and be more likely to touch people inappropriately.   However if you are able to fight it until the sun comes up, you will be in the home stretch.  After all, you can't go to sleep when it's light out.

The rest of the day involves switching on and off between being awake and being a zombie. The biggest challenge is trying to keep yourself from accidentally getting set up in a comfortable position- be it on the floor, in a chair, or at the dinner table- and just dozing off while being in the middle of doing something important.  Then at the end of the day, you can finally get your well deserved rest.  Or prepare for another sleepless night, which is where I'm going.

3 Response to "Bad Stuff Happens After 5 a.m."

  1. Mr Bouchard December 19, 2010 at 10:28 AM
    I'm now a master of all-nighters! I miss when the parties didn't involve going into bars passed midnight. I mean, I like going into clubs but your post sure made me remember all the fun I used to have pulling all nighters, doing pranks and going for midnight missions!
  2. Anonymous December 19, 2010 at 6:14 PM
    An all nighter? Fail sean, you came down and passed out within fifteen minutes after making this post. From that point onward I was just dieing to sharpe a moustache on your face. But for the sake of your sanity I decided not too since we woke you up twice with the screams of "Amnesia" Although I did miss THAT particular party, I do think you guys are idiots for eating the mayo plain... Makes me want to throw up just watching it. Parker was the only smart one, staying behind the camera. Always remember kiddies, You can tell when the energy drink is working when it BURNS as it goes down your throat.

    Signed, Hater.
  3. Emzy December 23, 2010 at 9:56 PM
    If i was in this video i'd never admit to it lol! Brave Sean Brave.

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