Advertisements pose a lot of interesting questions. Is your hair lifeless and brittle? Do you have overdue credit card payments? Do you suffer from uncomfortable feminine itch? How can you possibly live without [insert insanely overpriced item here]? If you are like me, and tend to look at these advertisements and think, 'Hey, maybe I do, and of course how could I go without that.' you should probably stay away from TV. Everything just seems so enticing! It's like everything is made to help you realize you have problems, and that with their help you can fix them. Then there's stuff just created to give you visual orgasms. Look at this movie OMG EXPLOSIONSSSSSSSS! EXPLOSIONS AND SEX!! AND THEN SOME NINJAS! (The real movie is never as good.)

Even though I don't watch TV, I still get exposed to various advertisements on the internet. Spam email has some of the best selling points in my opinion. It's so hard deciding whether I would want bigger breasts or a larger penis. I mean, I can't choose both, that would just be weird. Of course the free palm reading I have as well won't help me choose, but I can count on the credit card offer to pay for whatever I finally decide on. After all of the operations, I can even go on the dating sites to show off. Now if you'll excuse me, some Nigerian prince needs my help with his finances.