Showing posts with label Misc. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Misc. Show all posts

Troll Bible

So Jesus dies, sins are all taken care of, everything is all good, right?  Apparently not, because they made a whole other half a book to cover everything else.  Well to be honest, I have no idea what happens after Jesus dies.  It's like whatever happens in the Lord of the Rings after they (spoiler) drop the ring into Mount Doom.  Yes, in the books there are several full chapters after that, none of which I have read.

Does not knowing these make me a bad person?  Am I going to go to hell?  Short answer?  Yes.  Long answer?  I'm probably going to hell for multiple reasons, not just for trolling the bible even when I barely know anything about it. 

But since most religions state you're going to hell if you don't follow whatever beliefs they hold, then that means everyone is going to some hell or another.  Is Muslim hell Christian heaven?  I know they would probably hate it there, as much as I would being trapped with a bunch of Bible thumpers for all of eternity.

However, every once in a while, something crawls out of Satan's fiery bunghole and is planted here on earth to make us suffer (or enjoy, if you happen to be a sadist like that.)  Rebecca Black?  People who say "like" a lot?  Talking popup ads on the internet?   It all comes from somewhere, and that place is hell.  Yes, most of you know my writing by now, and can clearly identify this as none other than an intro for a new weekly post series:  It Came from Hell.  Stay tuned for next week, my hell spawn.

Lots of Stuff

I interrupt my well structured and closely followed posting schedule to give everyone great news!  I am now a proud daddy!

Ok just kidding.  But in addition to this being the 300th post that I have done, tomorrow is the first year anniversary of The Troll Cave!

Woooo! Look at him dance!  Look at him!
Sadly, tomorrow I will be on a 5 hour car ride down to an anime convention, so I cannot celebrate with everyone.  That doesn't mean that I don't love you thought.

I started this blog just on a whim, then I realized that I had a knack for blogging and making people laugh.  And now it's a full time hobby (not really a job, seeing as I don't make any money off of it.)  I've met a lot of great people and read a lot of great blogs out there.  I would mention names, but then all you other guys would be like "waaaahh Troll man didn't mention me."  Vultures, the lot of you.  But really, I love you guys, in the least gay way possible.

I will be back bright and early on Monday to post my pics of me dressed up as an anime character, random other people dressed up as anime characters, half naked cat women, as well as tons of other junk!  There may even be a secret guest poster to fill in for me this weekend!  Stay tuned, and stay beautiful, and last but not least, keep on trolling (except for while you're here.)

Forsaken Friday

So now that 4chan Friday is over, I now have a free day to post whatever I want... which means more work for me.

I kind of like having something planned to do on certain days. It gives some sort of structure for this otherwise completely random blog. Friday is nice cause I have no work to do and I can just sit and mash my keyboard into the night. Monday's "It came from Youtube" is nice too because, face it, Mondays suck, and the less thinking I have to do the better (even thought this might change soon).

So I'm faced with the decision of what to do on Fridays now. Faggotry Friday? Fucked-up Friday?

I'm pretty sure I've used this picture before, but it fits for pretty much anything.
Hell, let's throw out the alliteration and think of something completely new. I was thinking of actually writing prose of some sort, rather than rants about nothing.  Something like "Diary of a Crazy Person" or even chapters from a book I've been (slowly) working on.  I could call it "Cool Story Time for my Bros" or something.  What do you guys think?  Feel free to give me some suggestions!

999 Words

A picture can say a thousand words.  But posting pictures is for lazy people, so I write a thousand words to say those thousand words.  People would probably never read all that though.  That's why one-liners are so good, so you can remember them easier and repeat them ad-nauseum to your friends until they are ready to put duct-tape over your mouth.

So in interest of making this blog even more like a double dose of cocaine, I thought up some good sayings that you could use to (badly) describe this blog.

The Troll Cave: Nothing is safe.
The Troll Cave: Nuke it from orbit.
The Troll Cave: Because no one else will.
The Troll Cave: I'm 12 and where am I?
The Troll Cave: Ha ha, I actually AM using the internets!
The Troll Cave: Pretty much against all religions.
The Troll Cave: Oops, did I do that?
The Troll Cave: Always the whole thing.
The Troll Cave: Taking over the internet one lol at a time.

And a couple that are probably too long to be a one-liners, but what the hell.
The Troll Cave: They said I could become anything I wanted, so I became the internet.
The Troll Cave:The only blog that wears socks with sandals.

As a bonus, if you guys like one of these in particular, it will become part of the banner!  Fell free to put your own in the comment section, as well.

Going Green

If you just tuned in, you're probably saying something like, "Holy crap, what the shit?! I'm 12 and what is this?" No, this is not a continuation of the April Fools joke.

This is the whole new look of The Troll Cave. I've decided to lighten it up a bit, and make it easier to read and look at. And now it's green to match the Real Troll Face. So far I'm liking it. Though I will probably change the background image to something that looks a little less like it was done in paint (actually, paint.net).

After derping around with the coding for about 2 hours today, as well as much trial and error, I finally got it to look how I like, which taught me something. The Troll Man cannot do HTML. I can, however, do stuff like change pixels around and upload different backgrounds to make it look somewhat original. If there's anyone out there who can actually do stuff like this and wants to help out, feel free to drop me a message!

Now Searching

So I've reached another milestone, 200 posts.  For many other blogs that just post funny pictures and Youtube videos, this isn't too great, but since I handpick topics and write out stuff to make you laugh, I feel like I put in a lot to get this far.  Trollin' ain't easy.  But I'm not just gonna sit here all night and talk about how my blog is superior.

I have been getting a lot of hits recently, which I am glad of.  However I wonder what people I am bringing in due to the nature of my posts and what keywords they contain.  Some of this stuff is aimed at 4chan users of course, and while I'm not saying that we're the most upstanding of people who browse the internet, I can say that there are some decent folks there.  What I'm really worried about is everyone else.

Let's take a look at some search keywords that I have seen come up on my stats:
-Desu.  Anywhere from one to five.  The most popular ones contain 3 and 5.  I don't know what significance this holds.  Suiseiseki and desu eyes also come up.
-The ignorant masses.  I said this once, referencing people who are likely to wander onto 4chan and get trolled unknowingly.  Now the whole world thinks I hate them.
-Troll Science.  People seem to like this, as the post as well as the pictures have gotten a lot of hits.  Who would have known so many people love magnets?

Those are pretty much to be expected, as well as anything related to trolls.  Except naked and/or female trolls, which I have seen before on my searches, but I have never even posted about once.  I don't even think I've mentioned rule 34 here before, yet it still effects the searches.  Oh look, I just created a gold mine of new terms to drag more people here. 

Finally, I also have a lot of hits looking for hentai and hentai wallpapers and anime.  Sorry guys, it's all (mostly) safe for work here.  But I did post about /h/ on 4chan just yesterday.  Go there.  For the rest of you, keep being awesome.
Something new is coming soon as well!

Six Months

So it's been six months now since I started this blog, and it's still going strong.  I'd like to thank all of my readers and supporters for being awesome and leaving good comments (sometimes), and for getting me almost 3,000 views this month.  I am constantly thinking up fun new things to post, but this has made me realize one thing- I'm probably not a very good troll.  You know, I'm fine with going through life being mediocre, but I feel like a reaction to one of my antics would be something like this:

I even got called "the lovable troll" once.  You know what, fuck you guys. No more Mr. Nice Troll.  From now on I'm gonna quit being a lurker and get out there and make some people rage.  I've even been practicing.
So many homophobes on teh interwebs...
Apart from that, I will keep bring you funny videos, stories from around the internet, and more bad commentary on stuff. In the mean time, keep on trollin'

This week's "It Came from Youtube" will be pushed back to tomorrow, but be ready something special!

...And I'm Back

Well after a short break I feel refreshed and ready to write again. I haven't been completely lazy this week though. As you might notice, I put up a new Title Banner, Feed Icon, as well as cleaned up the look a little bit. Tell me what you think!

On a side note, I want to mention comments. I don't really care for all of the comments saying stuff like "good post bro," or "cool, supporting." I try to write stuff seriously, so I would like you to take the same care commenting as well.

If you don't have anything to add in, you don't really have to post. Commenting is a nice way of letting me know you like what you're reading, but in no way is it required. I don't usually leave comments in hopes of getting one in return either, it's just to give my input. Anyways, back to trollin'.

Best of the Troll Cave

Since I finished my last project tonight, and I got out of class early, I figured I'd post something. Because the majority of my posts were before I had many followers, i though I'd go back and dig up my favorites from back then. Here we go.


And the rest is history. Regular programming will return on Monday!

Hiatus

I've been really busy with my classes lately, on top of other stuff such as applying to colleges, and my blog has kind of been suffering. In order to keep my writing from digressing any more than it should, I'm taking a short break from blogging to get some work done and to get my thoughts in order, as well as trying to combat my Minecraft addiction. I'll be back next week, probably with some new stuff. In the meantime, keep on trollin'.

Blogs, Eveywhere!

My MS Paint skills are amazing.
The most important thing to getting more readers is to network with other bloggers who blog about similar things. Other people's blog can even give you ideas for blog posts of your own. That being said, here's a list of some of my favorite blogs.

Say What? -This is my second blog that I've been working on for about a month now. It's all about my love for foreign language. I think it will probably remain only a side project though. I try to post at least twice a week.
Hyperbole and a Half -An extremely popular blog with great writing to match. I've definitely learned a lot about blog writing from here.

Rants and What Naugtiness
-My girlfriend's blog. As I've said before, several of my friends have tried blogging, and most of them have already quit. I try to encourage all of them to blog more, but she is the only one who has been able to.

I have seen the whole of the internet/ Look at this -Some of the essential "look-what-I-Found-on-the-internet" blogs, brought to you by one of my first real followers, Joanne Casey (and company).

My Girlfriend is Ridiculous -Ridiculous, she is.

Otaku Life -Another one of my first original supporters/followers. Awesome anime stuff.

If your blog didn't show up here, sorry. You can always check my profile for the list of blogs I am following though. On a side note, I would appreciate it if people didn't post links to their own blogs in the comments section. People can click on your name if they want. Thanks!

Two Months...

Wow, it's already been two months now since this blog started. Time really flies. I want to keep this short, and I will tell you why.

I recently discovered "Hyperbole and a Half," a great blog with hilarious writing and even better illustrations, and it made me think about my own writing. After thinking about some of the things that I've written on and posted, I realized that recently, I’ve been kind of selfish. I've writing about what I wanted to write about, and not what people would want to read. This might sound a bit hypocritical; it is my blog after all, I should be able to write about what I want. However, I though back to my Post on Hirigana and Katakana, and what I posted on my twitter after the fact.

"Ugh that was a long blog post to write out. Good service to my readers though."
That’s when it hit me. I wasn’t having anymore fun writing my posts than my readers were having reading it. Service to my readers, say what? It made me think about all of the boring informational crap I read in high school. I didn't care for most of the stuff that I read in then, but these were the worst.

Lately, I've focused on writing for fun. I'm trying to cut out my habit of trying to over-explain everything, and just writing for entertainment. I'm also trying to reduce my amount of giant wall-of-text posts. To put a positive spin on it, I guess you could say I've improved my writing so that more people will enjoy it.

Well that's it for now. I probably won't make another update like this until the one year mark, at which point this blog may or may not be around anymore. Only time will tell. Troll Man out~

Hiragana and Katakana

Before I start, I'll have you refer back to this post, or otherwise this may not appear as it should. It has come to my attention, however, that there have been some troubles installing this feature, involving needing the Windows disk. If people don't have the disk, like with my mom's laptop, the feature won't be able to be installed. As soon as I find a solution for this, I will post it.

Also, as a disclaimer, I have to say that this guide will be only for printed Japanese. Handwritten has a slightly different style and specific stroke order which are hard to describe without an actual demonstration. Take this as an aid to read some basic Japanese, such as on Youtube on in animes.

So during my first semester of Japanese in college, I learned to read and write both basic alphabets, and I'm here to teach my readers a bit too. Hiragana is the first one I learned, and the most useful. It is used mostly as filler in sentences, such as in particles, endings for verbs and other words, and can be used to show the pronunciation of the harder Kanji characters. Katakana is the second alphabet, used to write Japanese adaptations of foreign words, or for onomatopoeia, like "wan wan" (woof, woof), as well as certain other things.

Here is a simple chart of both of the alphabets. As you can see, they are made up of 47 characters, composed up of vowel sounds, or a vowel sound combined with a consonant sound. The reason I say sound is because traditional Japanese doesn't use any Roman letters (Romaji, what you are probably reading this in), and the pronunciations shown are simply the closest phonetic spelling to the syllables used in Japanese speaking. The vowels in Japanese are the same as in English, and the consonants are K, S, T, N, H, M, Y, R, and W (as well as some others, described below).

Because the chart is pretty drab, I'll put this wallpaper up for your enjoyment.
Set it as your wallpaper or Google background, and study without knowing it. Note it is read from up-down and right-left.

On top of the 47 characters, there are more sounds which can be made with the use of accent marks. If you add a ゛ (pronounced "ten-ten", or dot dot) to the K, S, T, or H columns, the consonant sounds becomes G, Z, D, or B, respectively. For Instance, か(ka), with the ten ten added, becomes が(ga). In addition to this, the H row can also have a ゜(Chisai-maru, literaly, little circle), Making it into a P sound. へ(hi)becomes ぺ(pi). The same marks work for both hiragana and katakana.

Glides are another way of changing the sound. Basically, one pairs something from the い(i) row with something from the Y column. The Ya, Yu, or Yo is written smaller, and the vowel from the first character is replaced. For instance, ち(chi) plus や(ya) becomes ちゃ(cha), which can go to make up ちゃん, or chan, like in Onee-chan(little sister), or even 4chan.

Anther interesting thing is the double consonant. Because there are no unpaired consonants in Japanese, excluding the n/m sound, to create a double syllable in a word requires a ちさいつ, or a chisai(small) tsu. It becomes smaller just like the ya, yu, or yo in the glide, but it copies the consonant from the next syllable to the previous syllable. It also creates a spoken break between the consonants. For example, し(shi) plus the chisai tsu (っ) and ぽ(po) becomes しっぽ (Ship*po) meaning tail. All of these also apply to katakana as well.

While Japanese extends a long way beyond just these two alphabets, this is more than enough to be able to read basic writing. It took me several months to learn both alphabets by heart, and it definitely takes practice and plenty of exposure. I don't expect a lot of learning to come out of this, but it will work as a nice reference. In order to input these into a computer, without having special software or a keyboard, I used this. It isn't fast or pretty, but it gets the job done. From here on, good luck with your Japanese. Gambbare, Yokudekimashita, to Oyasuminasai. (Good luck, good job, and good night.)

One Month Later...

So it's officially been a month since my friend and I started our blogs. 38 posts in 31 days- a little more than one post a day. Since then, my girlfriend as well as her friend have both started blogs, and although they don't update as much as me, I still try to encourage them into posting.

I believe that with encouragement, and a constant flow of ideas, anybody can write. Everybody has things they like to talk about, and opinions on things that some group of people would like to hear. As I told my friend, "If you build it- or write it- they will come." Even someone who is a shut-in and has no real contact on the outside world could find something to write about. Hell, I could make up a blog post about that.

"Nothing was good on TV today, so I looked out at the people passing by my house. There are so many people who pass buy, everyone seems to have different quirks. I even saw a guy with a purple fro, it must be hard to wash. How do you get a job with hair like that? He must work at some record store or something. Maybe he works at a hair place? He could be like a walking advertisement..."

As far as my actual writing has gone, it can't be better. My first semester in college, (which was not too long ago) I took the basic English 1A class, composition. The teacher was unlike the ones I had in high school, and gave us complete freedom with our essays, which gave me a new-found love of writing, which I carry today in the form of this blog. I am even fiddling around with writing actual literature.

When I first started this blog, I had many things pop into my head about what I could post about, so many that I knew I wouldn't be able to post or remember all of them at once. I started a small list of these, which I have pulled many topics from. However, many of my posts are also taken from a spur of the moment idea. My list has remained plentiful with potential writing material, so expect many more posts in the future. My plans for the future include much more trolling, a revamped Youtube spot, and possibly a look into myself, in real life.

As far as my followers, they have remained at my four friends, as well one great person over at I have seen the whole of the internet. Thanks for being my first real follower. I really enjoy and look up to your blog. Whether my readers go beyond my personal "fans" or not, I do not know, but as long as I can write I will be content.

I apologize for the wall of text, but thanks for reading anyways. Troll Man off!

Enabling Foreign Language Support On Your Computer

Since I am learning Japanese and know the basic alphabets, I will try to include some Japanese characters and other scrips on my posts. However, most computers don't come with these character sets installed automatically. Because of this, most programs won't display them correctly, and on web pages they will be displayed smaller or non-existant. To fix this, you have to go into Control Panel then to language options. From there, hit the languages tab, and click the box that says "Install East Asian Languages". After you restart, these characters should appear correctly. For a more in-depth walk through, or for another operating system, click here.

かんたん ですね?
(Easy, isn't it?)

Dealing With Trolls

I found this while looking around for tips on blogging and building a blog, and I though it was funny, because there are actually some blogs actually try to get rid of people like us. Wtf man? As far as actual trolls here, don't be hatin'. Besides, I have seen many trolls in my day and I know what they look like (>trollface.jpg), so if you want to troll here please keep it in good spirits. Now that that is said, I shall leave you all with this.

"hahahaha. your an idiot."
That is all.

Welcome

Hello everybody, and welcome to the troll cave. This is my first official post, as well as the beginning of an experiment for myself. I started this blog after the random spark of an idea I had with a friend, and I decided with this name because of my love of 4chan and related trolling activities. While I'm not a serious /b/tard, me and my friends like to prod eachother about the various jokes and memes created across the boards. If you look closely some of these jokes will be included in my posts. Some of my other interests include Anime, online gaming, music, photo and video editing, and just generally hanging around the internet.

I've always liked voicing my opinions about things, such as webcomics I read, animes I watch, and sites I visit. I also like to write, and have enjoyed writing essays on things I have opinions on, or about things that interest me. However, not all of my friends are always interested in hearing me go on and on about stuff they've never heard about. Whether people here read my ideas or not, it's still nice to have a place to just throw my thoughts and put them all together.