Troll Bible

Today is Friday, and this is another episode of "People getting strange messages from unknown sources."

Leviticus:
Leviticus talks much of sacrifice.  Sacrifice is a big part of religion.  The Aztec sacrificed the hearts of their enemies to their gods.  Priests and Nuns sacrifice their sexual organs in order to be pure.  P.E. classes sacrifice their weakest in order to bring laughter to the rest.  And Christians sacrifice goats.

Goats, such horrible smelly creatures.  But will spilling their blood really appease God?  Maybe God really hates goats as well.  Goats are unclean, as it is said.  And being unclean leads to the dark side going to hell.  Masturbating?  You are unclean.  Giving birth to children?  You are unclean.  Eating certain types of meat?  You are most likely unclean.  Does that mean that I am as well unclean?  Well even though I just took a shower, yes.  But nothing that can't be fixed with some good old fashioned goat slaughter. (Helpful hint- when Jehovah's Witness come to the door, make sure to yell into the next room to not let the goat escape from the altar.  It makes them leave pretty quick.)

1 Response to "Troll Bible"

  1. Zombie July 2, 2011 at 9:54 AM
    hey buddy! Your interview makes its debut on the blog today! :) Please be sure to leave a link to the interview so all your fans can take a look at it.

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