Le Dentist

Excuse my French, I have said something that people usually won't want to hear.  As in "You have a dentist appointment next week," which is swiftly followed by "Fuck fuck fuck I haven't been flossing."  And of course you haven't been flossing.  Nobody flosses.  It's probably a conspiracy.  The dentist will still ask you if you are anyways, and you have no choice but to answer "sometimes."

I went to the dentist today.  And no, I haven't been flossing.  I could say having things stuck into my mouth by a cute girl is fun, but I would be lying.  Flossing may make your gums bleed, but getting them jabbed with their alien prodding devices makes it look like you've been chewing glass.  I guess if I did actually floss my gums would be all scarred and bled-out so this wouldn't happen.  At least it isn't a week long mouth period like after I got my wisdom teeth out (which I even wrote about while I was still loopy from the pain killers.) I guess the horror stories of what happens when I don't floss aren't strong enough to stop me from forgetting what floss actually is.

But hey, they floss for you after they're done cleaning your teeth, right?  Check one off the list!

Unfortunately after the flossing comes more jabbing, into your teeth, until they find that spot that you thought might have hurt one time but you weren't sure and you didn't want to go to the dentist so you ignored it.  And you feel it penetrate the tooth.  And you try not to flinch, because you know, they might have missed it.  But then they look at those X-Rays that may or may not have not given you tooth cancer or something which created these cavities in the first place, and there's like this one spot with a slightly different shade of grey- that little spot is a cavity.   Which is when you say to yourself "I should have flossed."

And for those of you who are wondering, they did find cavities.  Don't drink 2 liter bottles of Mt. Dew in one day, kids.

7 Response to "Le Dentist"

  1. Byakuya July 7, 2011 at 3:06 AM
    Oh god the guilt from not flossing =D

    I hate going to the dentist, if you brush your teeth properly you barely ever need to go
  2. Kev D. July 7, 2011 at 5:42 AM
    Seriously, the dentist always makes me feel like a disappointment.
  3. Lemons Don't Make Lemonade July 7, 2011 at 6:08 AM
    I never liked female dentists. Male dentists, on the other hand...well, there's just something sexy when they bend over you. ;)

    Anyway, I hate going to the dentist ever since they stopped giving me lollipops and tweety bird stickers.
  4. Zombie July 7, 2011 at 6:31 AM
    honestly I hate going to the dentist! lol.
  5. Major.Mack July 8, 2011 at 12:23 AM
    you have me concerned. I havent brushed my teeth since 1989
  6. MRanthrope July 8, 2011 at 10:18 AM
    lol, that image of the crazy tooth/face is straight from the Simpsons (Lisa and her scary British dentist).
  7. A Beer for the Shower July 8, 2011 at 1:04 PM
    About a week before I have a dentist appointment, I floss every single day. I call it emergency flossing. They can never tell the difference. They think I'm the superstar of flossing. And when I leave? I ditch the floss like I always do.

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