Why I can't have a normal life because of 4chan

4chan has done a great many things to me. Turned me into a pedophile. Introduced me to furries. Showed me types of porn that I wouldn’t have known about, nor would want to, but made me like them anyways. Made me despise the human race as a whole. Sure, I can hide my power level, but on the inside, I know that rubbing against a little girl on the bus would probably get me going activate my paternal instincts.  Why is this?  Because I've spent way too much time on this site.

Check the left; that's me.
So I see someone get run over by a bus, with organs spread out like meat-butter on asphalt toast, and I don't even feel sick.  Does that mean I love gore?  No, it means that I am desensitized because of Hollywood and the video game industry.  [Hey, they work as scapegoats for all those kids who come to school and shoot their teachers.]  But how do you think I would create such funny original content on this blog if I didn't copy it all off the boards on 4chan?

Assuming that watching anime already doesn't make me a freak compared to the countries that aren't called "Japan", my anime viewing is less than normal.  4chan has pretty much ruined the way I look at anime as well.  I remember what I thought of all anime before I found /a/- "Holy crap, this is awesome."  But now I pick out the plot holes, lazy animation, and terrible acting.  I now see every single scene that could be exploited with pictures of penises drawn in, or sub titles that look horrible wrong taken out of context.

“Wow, that cow has huge tits.”
I can't watch anime without seeing scenes that can be mixed in with existing memes either.
Watching anime today:
Oh no little girl!  Watch out for the bed!  Don't go POMF!
As long as I can keep myself from yelling out memes or "The Game" I think people won't suspect me of being a full-time internet lurker.  If someone happens to let one slip, one can always go along with it- partners in crime are always welcome, and the normal folks around you will be none the wiser.  At least until they find a complete lack of social skills.

4 Response to "Why I can't have a normal life because of 4chan"

  1. MRanthrope July 4, 2011 at 2:33 AM
    MOAR acts of depravity. MOAR!
  2. Byakuya July 4, 2011 at 2:52 AM
    I'm pretty sure watching Anime is contributing factor, love it though =3

    Your post was pretty accurate, I enjoyed reading it.

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