Troll Bible

This chapter of the Troll Bible is the Book of Numbers.   Which luckily has nothing to do with math, which is good, or else I might have to say bad things about it.

So Moses and his followers are sick of running around the desert, so they decide to start heading towards the promised land of, milk, honey, rainbows, and ponies.  Except that people are living there.  People who don't share the same religious beliefs.  While the Bible says to respect your neighbor or something, that doesn't count if they are living on top of your holy land, or even more if they are heathens who worship false gods..  So they make an army and decide to go and kill them all.

However their recon teams were horrible and probably intoxicated, and along with the milk and honey, they said they also saw giants.  Which made them quake in their sacrificed-goat-skin boots.  Refusing to fight to death for their religion which also made them wander the desert for 40 years, smites them.  After that, they aren't even let into the promised land, so they settle for a slightly less rainbow-y area.

2 Response to "Troll Bible"

  1. Zombie July 9, 2011 at 12:44 AM
    Never knew that Trolls had bibles. lol.
  2. Punk1119 July 9, 2011 at 5:07 PM
    I actually don't own a bible. I do what every college student-turned troll blogger would do, I wikipedia'd the books of the Bible. I wonder if there is a sparksnote version...

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