Fetishizer

So you're looking for some porn on whatever porn site you like to go into private browsing for, and you're not sure what to choose from the countless previews pasted on your screen like pubic hair on a Japanese woman.  Do you want Big Busty Broads getting Big Meat Wads?  Or do you want Attack of the Midget Strippers V?  Three Armed Titty Monsters from Neptune?  What about Reverse 69ing with  Peanut Butter?

It's funner than it sounds. (Via Cyanide and Happiness)

If you chose 2,3, or 4, you might have some weird fetishes.  Or you just want to figure out what it feels like to laugh and climax at the same time.  But you watched it, and it will be forever in your history or at least until you delete it right before relatives come over.
Oh yeah, this one gets the recycle bin,.
Don't be ashamed of these fetishes though, most people have them.  Take me for instance, I have a strange attraction to boobs.  It's like I feel a great joy (and arousal) when looking at them.  You might say "What the fuck man, that's horrible."  Well, as they say (and by 'they' I mean the voices in my head), one man's erection is another man's towel rack.  If you're into that stuff. 

Now, once again asking me absurd pointless questions, you say "What the fuck man, how is that even a fetish."  Well let me tell you, since the idea was created about 20 seconds ago in my head, it has since become a fetish due to the rules of the internet.  I can't help it, I didn't make them.  But because of this, someone is getting off to the thought of a man hanging his towel on another man's erect penis.  Think about that and try to sleep tonight.

One common popular area of porn interest is 'hentai,' or anime porn if you don't speak Fapanese.  Yes, some people prefer to look at badly drawn boobies rather than real ones.  Go figure.  Like I said, fetishes can be some backwards shit. Not saying that I don't enjoy pixels from time to time...
Never enough.
Hentai brings out a bunch of new fetishes, just because, well, it's easier just to draw whatever the heck comes into your head.  Tentacle rape?  Cat ears?  Little girls with giant melons?  Where do I sign up?  And will I have to register as a sex offender as well?  I don't think they'll let me near the school with that on my record...


And thus concludes porn/sex/penis/vulgarity/whateverthefuckyouwanttocallit week.  Did anybody learn anything?  Probably not, because you're all to busy fapping to the idea of how great I am for taking my time to explain important stuff like this.  They don't teach this in school.  Not that I payed attention ever.

1 Response to "Fetishizer"

  1. Byakuya July 31, 2011 at 1:42 AM
    Haha I'm pretty sure no heterosexual guys have an aversion to boobs =P

    Gotta say this post is a little cringeworthy, but very true

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