Here in America, it's the 4th of July-  celebrating the day we told off Britain and became our own country (take that, you limeys.)  Now I know not everyone has the pleasure of living in the greatest country in the world, but it's not like you can't celebrate our greatness with us.

Fireworks.  Big explody things that turn into balls of light when you fire them into the air.  Or into devices of mass murder when you fire them into the crowd.  It's just like the revolutionary war all over again. Except fireworks were invented in China- which is sort of patriotic in itself, since most of the things we buy here in America also come from China.  Hooray for outsourcing and capitalism!  We shoot of these fireworks here on the 4th, making sure all the countries around us can see our glory.  Then we continue to fire them off late into the night to show just how drunk we got having a great time.

But America isn't [all] about making the lesser man work for us.  It's about the people.  People like George Bush, Bill O'Reilly, Hugh Laurie, and of course, the common man.