One day, there was a man named Jesus. He died. Three days later, he rose from the dead... and he wanted brains. Because the consumption of brains nowadays is looked down upon, we hand out nasty boiled eggs-- which kind of have the same texture and probably flavor-- to all the little children.
Unfortunately, Jesus and the Easter Bunny couldn't show up today (they were too busy being IMAGINARY) so you've got me, The Troll Man.
|Don't forget Easter bear!|
Just to make sure that the kids nowadays can have just a shitty of a childhood as you did, you can do something like this: