Why I can't Drive an Automatic

I drive a 1985 Chevy Blazer- which means it's older than me.  It isn't my dream car, but I love it.  It gave me a scare the other day, failing to pass smog, then later breaking down randomly on the side of the road.  Fortunately, Old Sparky (It got this name because it once started a grass fire on the side of the road after the catalytic converter blew out)  made it.


The best part of it: It's a stick shift.  Non of my friends can understand the fun of just shiftin' my stick around.  It's become almost a reflex- I don't even have to think about it (unless I'm downshifting, lol slowing down!).  But this makes driving other cars a pain.

My cat has four pedals; one to make you go, one to make you stop, one to make you stay stopped, and one to... well I'm not exactly sure how the clutch works, but I know it allows me to shift without my transmission falling out on the road, and allows me to scare my friends by letting me roll backwards on a hill.  But my mom's care only has three of these pedals.
Complete with duct tape.

Nevertheless, I still try to jam my foot in the direction of clutch in her car.  My hand also instinctively goes to the Prindle when going, even though the only thing I can do with it is shift it into neutral, making the engine sound like it's going to take-off (or explode) when I push in the gas.
No idea why this is sideways.  Pretend you're in the passenger seat.
You can actually shift into those low gear manually with an automatic car, but you will never use them unless you live in San Francisco or in the Mountains of Peru somewhere around Machu Picchu.  Until then, I'll be enjoying the sweet sounds of my engine purring as I shift through the gears, that is if they aren't covered up by the sound of my transmission clunking...

4 Response to "Why I can't Drive an Automatic"

  1. Anonymous August 6, 2011 at 11:50 PM
    Manuals always. I have never owned anything myself but manual cars. More fun to drive, more control, slightly better gas milage, and no one wants to borrow your car, because no one knows how to drive it.
    The funniest thing happened to me about two years ago, when I had to take my car in to get it serviced and I got an automatic loaner to drive for the day. I couldn't for the live of me figure out how to get the damn thing going. I tried pusing it from P (I figured that must mean Park?) to "1", which must be the first gear, but it would not go out of Park. After 5 minutes of sweating and swearing I got out of the car, walked back to the shop and asked for the manager. When the manager showed up I told him his loaner was broken. It wouldn't shift. He gave me a weird look, followed me back to the car, got it, and put it in "D" easily. Then I got in and tried again, but darnit: It was stuck in "P" again, and even pulling on it with two hands wouldn't get it out of that gear.
    And then it dawned on the manager, as he said: "Maybe you should try pushing the brake in first. Have you never driven a car before?".
    "No, I have. Just not a confusing automatic".

    And then I drove off for the first time ever in an automatic. The first minute was relaxing, then it quickly became extremely boring, and then I noticed the damn thing just shifting back randomly whenever trying to go uphill and maintaining 60 MPH.

    I hate and despise oncontrollable automatics. You drive a manual, in an automatic you're just along for the ride. Blegh!
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