Why I can't Drive an Automatic
I drive a 1985 Chevy Blazer- which means it's older than me. It isn't my dream car, but I love it. It gave me a scare the other day, failing to pass smog, then later breaking down randomly on the side of the road. Fortunately, Old Sparky (It got this name because it once started a grass fire on the side of the road after the catalytic converter blew out) made it.
The best part of it: It's a stick shift. Non of my friends can understand the fun of just shiftin' my stick around. It's become almost a reflex- I don't even have to think about it (unless I'm downshifting, lol slowing down!). But this makes driving other cars a pain.
My cat has four pedals; one to make you go, one to make you stop, one to make you stay stopped, and one to... well I'm not exactly sure how the clutch works, but I know it allows me to shift without my transmission falling out on the road, and allows me to scare my friends by letting me roll backwards on a hill. But my mom's care only has three of these pedals.
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| Complete with duct tape. |
Nevertheless, I still try to jam my foot in the direction of clutch in her car. My hand also instinctively goes to the Prindle when going, even though the only thing I can do with it is shift it into neutral, making the engine sound like it's going to take-off (or explode) when I push in the gas.
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| No idea why this is sideways. Pretend you're in the passenger seat. |
The funniest thing happened to me about two years ago, when I had to take my car in to get it serviced and I got an automatic loaner to drive for the day. I couldn't for the live of me figure out how to get the damn thing going. I tried pusing it from P (I figured that must mean Park?) to "1", which must be the first gear, but it would not go out of Park. After 5 minutes of sweating and swearing I got out of the car, walked back to the shop and asked for the manager. When the manager showed up I told him his loaner was broken. It wouldn't shift. He gave me a weird look, followed me back to the car, got it, and put it in "D" easily. Then I got in and tried again, but darnit: It was stuck in "P" again, and even pulling on it with two hands wouldn't get it out of that gear.
And then it dawned on the manager, as he said: "Maybe you should try pushing the brake in first. Have you never driven a car before?".
"No, I have. Just not a confusing automatic".
And then I drove off for the first time ever in an automatic. The first minute was relaxing, then it quickly became extremely boring, and then I noticed the damn thing just shifting back randomly whenever trying to go uphill and maintaining 60 MPH.
I hate and despise oncontrollable automatics. You drive a manual, in an automatic you're just along for the ride. Blegh!
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