Diary of a Crazy Person


Dear Diary,

Today is Friday, May 13. Friday the Thirteenth. I was able to avoid most bad things today, despite having to leave the sanctity of my home. No black cats, no having to walk under a latter. I didn't break any mirrors either, but I did see a crack in the road while looking through my rear-view mirror. I should call my mother to see if her back is fine...

I wonder how they came up with Friday the Thirteenth. I think calendars are just ways for the government to make us go to work for them on certain days at certain times, to make them money. Luckily I am able to avoid their plan by not going to work. You get dirty working. Besides all the little creatures crawling on your skin, you also get stuff like dirt under your fingernails, probably containing hundreds of microchips to track your every action.  To get them out, you gotta really dig down in there, and let the blood wash it all out.  This doesn't work to get the voices out of your head, however.  It will probably bring your a trip to their observation center, which they call a "hospital" where they poke you and inject you with more microchips.  Besides, you can fix any real health problems at home if you have a high enough pain tolerance.  Now, excuse me while I go after my toenails...

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