Cinco de Mayo is one of the great examples of Americans taking holidays that don't even relate to them and turning them into an occasion to eat glorious amounts of food. On top of that, Cinco de Mayo is a Spanish Holiday that celebrates one winning battle in a war that they lost.

Being a supporter of the French and their language, I could care less that they won a battle in a war that the French won. That's right, no surrender here bitches. Actually, I'm glad that they won the battle, because now I get to eat tons of spicy Mexican Food (aka Taco Bell), even though that's what I do the rest of the year. Between my mom making burritos, me having to make frozen microwave ones while she is away, and going to Taco Hell with my friend, I'm surprised my colon is still intact.

Not that Taco Bell is anything like real Mexican food. I could go to Mexico and get like 20 Tacos for 99 pesos each, complete with salmonella, but if I wanted super soul burning hot sauce to slop on top (complete with witty quote) I would have to actually go to Taco Bell.

Why pay more?  That's all the immigrant workers make anyways.