From Wikipedia:

Trolling is a method of fishing where one or more fishing lines, baited with lures or bait fish, are drawn through the water. This may be behind a moving boat, or by slowly winding the line in when fishing from a static position, or even sweeping the line from side-to-side, e.g. when fishing from a jetty. Trolling is used to catch pelagic fish such as salmon, mackerel and kingfish.

Well, it seems I was doing it wrong the whole time. My bad! But before I turn this blog into one about fishing (which I know you guys would LOVE), here’s a few reason why I will never actually go fishing myself:

Trollbait

Fishing is boring. All you do is sit around all day being bored and drinking, then tug on your rod until something comes. I can already do that at home by myself. Then after you finally catch one, you have to do something with it.

You can't throw it back. That's just weird. How would you like to be pulled out of your home by a freshly implanted lip piercing, manhandled by a person wearing a Budweiser shirt, then thrown back in? You're better off being eaten.

Except fish is gross. Well, at least until it’s on your plate. Before that, it starts out as a thrashing, slippery lump of scales. Then you get to bash it in the head and rip its entrails out, similar to what a zombie would do to a person. Then you have a non-thrashing, slippery hollow lump of scales, filled with a jillion tiny little bones. What sounds better, this or a nice de-boned fillet from your supermarket?