Rants About Nothing

I don't normally do rants, but these are kind of random and offbeat, so what the hell. Besides, a guys' got to let off some steam sometimes.

Paper or Plastic
Paper or Plastic? Hmm, let's see, how about paper. Screw plastic bags. But don't you want to save any trees? Trees? What about plastic? How bout save a plastic tree? None of those huh? Plastic is a petroleum byproduct, the same petroleum that goes into the gas that you're paying 4 freaking dollars for. Trees? Fuck trees. Trees grow back. Oil and petroleum take millions of years to come back. If I killed you right now and buried your body, it would still take me over 9000 lifetimes to wait for your body to rot and get buried deep down in the god-damn earth and get turned into some black shit so later I can come and pump it up and make lots of money off of it.

Mushrooms
Whoa whoa what is this rubbery shit on my pizza. Mushrooms? Get this out of here. They're not animals. They're not vegetables. They're not even on the food pyramid. Why would I eat something that isn't even included on a list of stuff I should put in my body. Mushrooms take dead stuff and eat it. They're worse than zombies. You know what I call things that eat only dead stuff? Lazy. If you can't kill something yourself, you're better off getting eaten yourself... oh wait.

There, now I feel all better.

3 Response to "Rants About Nothing"

  1. Erika March 23, 2011 at 11:52 PM
    =0

    Well, for starters mushrooms are fucking awesome but each to their own. You obviously just don't have taste. Which is fine. If you're into that kinda thing with the lack of taste 'n' all. Whatever.

    But "worse than zombies"? Woah woah woah. Hold on a second. Cus it sounded to me as if you were implying that zombies are bad. How dare you? How DARE you?

    And, say, when was the last time you killed for your meal? Yeah, exactly. I am personally offended and I DEMAND a public apology and permission for me to eat you.
  2. Punk1119 March 24, 2011 at 12:48 PM
    I will never back down on my opinion that mushrooms are terrible. However, I still give you permission to eat me. And seeing as how I've angered you so, could we say that successful troll is... successful?
  3. Sean March 25, 2011 at 12:33 PM
    I hate mushrooms too. Forever.

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