Free Things

Not everything in life is free, as much as I would like it to be. For things that actually are free, they are hard as hell to come by, since everybody and their great uncle wants to get their grubby hands on it first. The solution? Be the one who is there first.

Or be a vulture and get there after everyone has left everything else behind.  Sure, anything that got passed up by tons of other people probably isn't that great, but you can't complain because you probably don't have any money, you poorfags. As many of you know by now, I work at the movie theater- I get to clean up after the yuppies who pay for an 8 dollar ticket, order a 5 dollar drink and 5 dollar popcorn, then leave half of it on the ground or in their chairs. Sure, I could grab a hand full of popcorn, but I don't care for the thought of consuming another person's spit that they left for us knowing that we're in the middle of a 5 hour shift with no meal break.

Of course I was able to score some movie gum cleaning one theater. No, I didn't pull it off the bottom of the chair. I found it still in the pack. It's like a free lunch, even though that doesn't really exist. It's like trying to make a pie... from scratch.

You may be getting free food (or gum), but then again I had to exert energy to chew it, energy that came from food I had eaten previously which I had, in fact, payed for. 

So what are you left with?  Either no money because you're a chump and payed for your stuff, and hey, you might be better off because what you bought might just be better quality than anything you could get for free.  Or you might have fought your way past the other cheap people and got free stuff.  And so you're tired because none of the free stuff included food to sustain you, but you can still appreciate your free stuff none the less.

3 Response to "Free Things"

  1. Zombie August 4, 2011 at 6:35 AM
    I usually am not lucky enough to get the free stuff first. lol.
  2. Alphalpha August 4, 2011 at 6:58 AM
    What I've learned is that no matter how little interest you have in the thing, take it. It's free.
  3. MRanthrope August 5, 2011 at 12:19 AM
    I hear love is free. Too bad sex costs money though. =/ haha

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