If you do this, I hate you.

Today I worked my first shift as an usher at my new job at the movie theater. By the end of the day, I had met a lot of fun people, my feet hurt, and I had cleaned a lot of theaters. You probably can already tell where I'm going with this.

Popcorn is probably one of the stranger foods we eat normally. Who thought "hey, let's put this chicken feed on the fire and then eat it." Well, it turns out it explodes, and when you put butter and salt on it, it becomes delicious. It also makes huge messes.

So here's my warning for you movie goers out there. If you ever go to a movie and drop popcorn on the ground, I will find you, and strangle you. It also so happens that the more time you trod on it, the amount of pieces will grow infinitely until you have microscopic pieces of popcorn that cover the earth.

There's a trend in what I saw in theaters today. Adults grab napkins. Lots of them. Then they stuff them in the cup holder along with their half drunk large drinks (I was incredibly thirsty today. Feeling their icy coldness was torture.) Kids buy popcorn. They throw it at each other. It ends up on the floor, and eventually in those tiny pieces. I wonder if a leafblower would work on them...

(If you're wondering, this is a rant about popcorn, not my job. Please don't fire me.)

5 Response to "If you do this, I hate you."

  1. Zombie June 26, 2011 at 9:00 AM
    I always try to keep it clean for you guys, but sometimes I drop a few popcorns, Im sorry... :(
  2. Anonymous July 2, 2011 at 6:48 AM
    I usually enter cinematics dressed as Rainbow Dash and purchase Skittles. Whenever someone says "LOL GAY" I just shout "TASTE THE RAINBOW!" and toss Skittles at them.

    If you do not sell Skittles.. well.. I have to use popcorn.
  3. Punk1119 July 2, 2011 at 2:43 PM
    OMGWTF Skittles are even harder to clean up, you should go die in a ditch somewhere.
  4. Anonymous July 3, 2011 at 7:36 AM
    Right now im touring across America, visiting all cinemas.

    Await my arrival.
  5. matt July 4, 2011 at 12:46 AM
    sean did you enjoy the tacobell?

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