[Note: this is best attempted with the ground being made of snow.]

They say that to fly you have to jump at the ground and miss. Well we're not trying to fly here, are we? This is a classic example of "learning the hard way." Learning what, you say? Snowboarding.

Anyone can strap their feet to something and flail around, but it takes special conditions in order to not look like an idiot. Or get seriously injured. Snowboarding is fun that way, but you can still have both, probably at the same time. But like a facepalm, you've got to do it hard, or else it won't work.

And that's how you win.  As long as you're not dead, you can pick yourself up again and do it better next time.   Or go and cry about it, you little bitch.

On the other hand, attacking the ground with your butt isn't so great.  You tend to do this a lot while learning snowboard.  Your butt will be sore.  On a scale of 1 to 'surprise anal butt-sex', it would probably be closer to the last one.   The feeling of snow rushing up your backside is also similar to that of a cold prison shower, with conveniently placed soap.  Not that I've ever been to prison...

Do you like the feeling of screaming your head off until you pass out, then wake up with a sore throat and a brain hemorrhage?  If so, then this video is for you!

I've watched this at least 20 times already, and it is equally funny. If anyone can figure out what creeper-mom says at :39, feel free to let me know.

And while we're on the topic of off-topic, here's this.

Wow, I don't remember this much profanity or distorted baselines in any of the Zelda music.

Trolls.  Everyone has raged at them before, but few actually have seen one.  [Probably because they never leave their caves.]  The truth is, trolls can take on two forms.  Both are equally trolly, but they leave a different impression.

Here is the "Troll Face" that most people are familiar with:

The teeth, the mischievous look.  How very troll-like. HOWEVER.  I don't like to say this a proper troll face.  This is what a real troll looks like:
You know why he's successful?  Because he is way better than Mr. Troll Face up there. 

The troll face is a poser.  Like any good hipster, Mr. Green was a troll before trolling was cool.
This is the real identity of the "Troll Face."  Mr. Cool Face.  'Problem?' guy.  Not the Troll Man.  This face says "I'm a jerk, I'm gonna fuck up everything you love then laugh about it."  At the same time, The guy with the horns is all over here, playing pranks with the guys, then all laughing together about it.
That's right, the lovable troll.  So tell me, which side do you want to be on?

Facebook is probably one of the worst time wasters for me, almost as bad as Minecraft.  I never really post though, that would probably lead me into social interactions, which would probably be awkward.  I just kind of scroll down though the news, seeing what people are doing, what people are still alive, what people may have died, who broke up or who hooked up with who, or what people like.

The last bit seems the most mundane, but people seem to like the wierdest things (like mushrooms, which I still remain firm on, no matter what people say.)

"That Awkward moment when..."

Wait, you like awkward moments?   Sure, you could be an exhibitionist troll, but if you suddenly get giddy when the conversation suddenly drops, you need some help.  Unless you're talking to someone you don't want to.  Then you can run out of there at full speed. 

Whats worse is the fact that you can like people's posts about them doing boring shit during their day. 

"I just took the hugest poop"

Like.

"I just broke up with my girlfriend."

 Like.

Trolling quota for the day: completed.  Now, if they only had a dislike button.

Today is Friday, and since I didn't spend my day trying to figure out which seat to pick, I was able to just be lazy the whole day and browse 4chan. This is what I found.

/sci/ Stands for Math & Science, basically everything that pretty much makes no sense to me. Math has lots of numbers and stuff, which I really don't like. I know the entirety of Hiragana and Katakana by heart, but I really don't know shit about deriving or anything. It's all Greek to me. Until I actually go out and learn Greek, at which point it's something else. Probably Klingon.

Don't even get me started on Science. The only thing I know about science is the fact that it works a lot better than religion.

Torrents, or /t/ is the best way to get anything.  Porn, free software and games, viruses, you name it.   Except on 4chan.  Sadly, one rule of /t/ in no warez, in other words software. That’s right, no pirates here. You’re better off heading over to a certain site that might get me into some trouble if I mentioned it, but I assure you it's on the high seas.  However, what this means that it is actually one of the safer boards to be on, being that you won’t be getting any surprise visits from the FBI.  And now that I have a ton of red-flags here in my post, it's time to set up the tinfoil.