I love sounding condescending. It makes you feel so important, at least compared to the other person. (Oh my god I am joking are you guys serious?) I'm pretty sure the best way to sound condescending is to call someone a really horrible nickname. “Hey Bud.” “My name is Johnathan.” “You shut your mouth when you're talking to me.”

Using the nickname 'Sport' ironically pretty much makes you sound like a big condescending dickwad. Others may include 'Chief', 'Kiddo,' and 'Champ'. Thanks Coach, you really make me feel like a winner.

On the internet, we use the term 'bro,' as in “Cool Story Bro.” If anyone says this, you can pretty much take it as “Hey, you wrote some stuff there, and just to let you know, it sucked balls. But better luck next time.”

If you start something with "Yo Dawg" I can't imagine whatever following it is going to be very intellectual though.  The same goes for "Oh My God" - such as in "Oh my god you guys, you will never guess what happened."  Uh, we probably will, but we could really care less.