Back in my hometown, there was this one hole-in-the-wall burger shop where I always went to that was filled with tons of random redneck humor.  It was pretty fitting for my town.  My town that pretty much hated anything that wasn't republican.  The food was great, and the prices were too, especially if one of your friends was paying for it.

They called this method "The Obama Special."  My friend once invoked this one me, being that the only money he had was one a little plastic card, and they really couldn't use that to fuel the fire on which they cook their burgers on. 

Mmm, smells like capitalism.

So what would happen if other presidents got their own meal plans?  Who would end up paying for it?  Which person in line would get screwed, blamed, or otherwise?  Well, I came up with some plans.

The Bush Jr. Meal Special:  Because your family knows the owners, you get to go to the front of the line, then have everyone behind blame the person ahead for getting pushed back.

The Clinton Special:  This special comes with a free blow-job from one of the waitresses while you enjoy your meal!

The Nixon Special:  You get to go back behind the counter, learn the secret recipes, then get the cops called on you, saying that you broke it.  (They still let you in after, but you decided not to.)

The Kennedy Special:  You get to make your own burger in hopes of finding something better than what they serve, but end up getting kicked out.

The Roosevelt Special:  You gather up all the poor people off the streets and try to get them job there, but you have to beat up another person to try to pay for all of it.

Everything comes with a free side of your choice of fries, onion rings, or impeachment!